The Pocket-Sized Revolution in Dementia Care: An Interview with Maggi Memory
EnhDme Feature ❖ Leaders in Care
After a life-altering misdiagnosis and years in both family caregiving and assisted living administration, Maggi Memory realized families don’t need a textbook — they need a lifeline.
Dementia care is often framed through medical manuals and clinical jargon, but for Maggi Memory, the reality is far more personal — and practical. As the author of The Don’ts of Alzheimer’s Dementia and co-host of the Dementia Disrupted podcast, Maggi is on a mission to provide actionable tools for those navigating the complexities of cognitive decline.
A Pocket-Sized Catalyst
Your book is behavior-focused and based on lived experience. What pushed you to write it in a pocket-size format instead of a traditional manual?
I accompanied a client to a neurologist visit where the doctor told them caregiving is like being a parent — there’s no one-size-fits-all guide. That comment infuriated me because it was so true, yet families were being left empty-handed. I wanted to create something under 40 pages that you could skim in 20 minutes. It’s durable, easy to clean, and meant for the “on-the-go” reality of caregiving.
The Impact of Misdiagnosis
You mentioned a Younger Onset Dementia misdiagnosis at 33. How did that reshape your understanding of the diagnostic process?
I learned the hard way what’s at stake. My experience was marred by a doctor who reviewed my records remotely without a face-to-face meeting. Now, I’m skeptical when people say a primary care physician diagnosed them without a brain scan or a thorough checkup. Trust your instincts — don’t let anyone talk you out of a second opinion.
The Golden Rule: D.I.A.R.
What “Don’t” do you hope families absorb immediately to save them the most heartache?
Don’t correct or argue. I coined the D.I.A.R. rule: Deme Is Always Right. Correcting someone living with Alzheimer’s isn’t worth it; they won’t remember your facts anyway. Their world is getting simpler, but they still deserve dignity. It’s a massive mindset shift, but it spares everyone the escalation of a conflict that no one can “win.”
“Deme” vs. The Person: Maggi uses the name “Deme” to personify the disease, helping caregivers separate the person they love from the symptoms that frustrate them.
Lessons from the Executive Suite to the Bedside
You’ve been a family caregiver and an executive administrator. Which role taught you the hardest lessons?
The executive role taught me the hardest lessons. At the top, it’s often about the bottom line — filling beds. I believe CEOs should make unannounced surprise visits to see how people are really treated. On the flip side, caregivers are the real MVPs. They do backbreaking work and are often invisible until something goes wrong. They are entrusted with the well-being of human lives but are often paid less than a car mechanic.
Navigating Behavioral Roadblocks
What is the most common behavioral mistake families make?
Assuming their loved ones are still fully aware or can recall recent conversations. Not being able to distinguish between the person and the disease is a major roadblock. We need to rethink our expectations.
What caregiver behaviors unintentionally escalate anxiety?
Asking them to “remember.” If they could, they would! When you say, “Remember when…”, it’s like asking someone to climb Mount Everest. It is utterly beyond their ability and only serves to frustrate “Deme.”
The Power of Humor
You include humor in your guide. How do families balance humor with sensitivity?
Humor is a survival tool. During an earthquake, my mother-in-law calmly asked, “Can you tell them to stop shaking the building?” I laughed because her innocence reminded me she wasn’t afraid. You have to laugh with the person, not at them. It keeps you rooted in compassion.
“You have to laugh with the person, not at them. It keeps you rooted in compassion.”
Moving Forward: Advice for the Overwhelmed
What advice do you have for new caregivers who fear making the wrong decision?
You will make wrong decisions. You cannot be perfect. Ever. Fortunately — or unfortunately — they aren’t going to remember the mistake. When we know better, we try to do better, but give yourself grace.
What is next for the “Don’ts” series?
The Don’ts of Alzheimer’s Dementia is just the first — the beginning of a series of eight other “Don’ts” guides. Families and clinicians must recognize that different types of dementia bring distinct behaviors requiring tailored approaches.
Connect with Maggi Memory
- Website: walkintomyworld.com
- TikTok: @maggimemory
- Podcast: Co-host of Dementia Disrupted
- Toll Free: 866.406.1743
- Book: The Don’ts of Alzheimer’s Dementia
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Note: This story is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician regarding medical conditions.