1 in 4

U.S. Adults in the Sandwich Generation

54%

Of Americans in Their 40s Caring for a Parent & a Child

2.5M

Caring for an Aging Parent & a Minor Child at Once

19

Medical & Therapy Pros the Giordanos Coordinate With

"The challenges are real, but so is the joy. Watching our son grow up surrounded by generations of family has been one of the greatest gifts of our lives."

— Kait & Tamrin

The Squeeze in the Middle

America's Sandwich Caregivers, By the Numbers

Before you read the Giordanos' story, understand this: they are not an exception. They are one family inside a movement millions strong.

📊 About 23% of U.S. adults — nearly 1 in 4 — are part of the "sandwich generation," meaning they have a parent age 65 or older and are either raising a child under 18 or supporting a grown child, according to the Pew Research Center.

📊 The squeeze peaks in midlife: 54% of Americans in their 40s have a living parent 65 or older and are raising or financially supporting a child.

📊 An estimated 2.5 million Americans actively care for an aging parent AND a minor child at the same time — about 1 in 4 of all adult children who care for a parent, per a national study in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.

📊 Sandwich caregivers report higher rates of emotional and financial strain than other caregivers — roughly a third report high emotional stress — and the majority are juggling paid work on top of it all.

📊 The need keeps growing: more than 7 million Americans are now living with Alzheimer's or another dementia, cared for by nearly 12 million unpaid family members and friends.

Millions of families. Two generations leaning on one. Very little recognition. That is exactly why this conversation matters.

1. The Melty Middle: Your platform's name captures something rare — a life where "first words and forgotten words collide." Paint us a picture of what that actually means under your roof.

We live in a multigenerational household where we're raising a toddler while caring for both of Kait's parents, who are living with dementia. Life here isn't divided into neat categories. Parenting, caregiving, work, grief, laughter, and ordinary family moments all happen together. It's challenging, but it's also given us a deep appreciation for what it means to belong to one another through every stage of life.

2. Choosing It Anyway: For many families, the sandwich years arrive by surprise. For you, dementia was already in the house — and you still chose to add a baby. How did you decide to build the family you wanted while caregiving?

In some ways, becoming sandwich caregivers wasn't something that happened to us — it was something we always knew might be part of our lives. Kait's parents cared for their own parents, and Tamrin's mother cared for her aunt, so we both grew up seeing family members cared for at home. The idea that you show up for the people you love was simply part of the example we were given. The bigger question for us wasn't whether we would help care for aging parents. It was whether we could also build the family we wanted while doing it.

For a couple of years, we struggled to imagine how children would fit into our circumstances. Dementia was already part of our lives, and we knew adding a baby would bring a whole new set of demands. Eventually, we realized there was never going to be a perfect time. We wanted children, and Kait's parents had always hoped to be grandparents. So we decided to move forward and trust ourselves to figure it out. We knew it would be hard. We just didn't think that was a reason not to do it.

Looking back, we don't regret that decision for a moment. The challenges are real, but so is the joy. Watching our son grow up surrounded by generations of family has been one of the greatest gifts of our lives.

3. Radical Acceptance: Caring for two parents with dementia means grieving people who are still here. What's the mindset that lets you stay present instead of mourning who they used to be?

For us, the answer is radical acceptance. That doesn't mean we don't grieve. It means we don't spend our time arguing with reality. Our parents are still the same people they've always been, even though dementia has changed how they move through the world. The more we compare today to who they used to be, the harder it is to see who they are right now. Acceptance doesn't make caregiving easier, but it helps us stay present for the life we're still living together.

"We don't spend our time arguing with reality… The more we compare today to who they used to be, the harder it is to see who they are right now."

4. Two Full-Time Roles: New parenthood and dementia caregiving each demand everything you have. How do you split the load and keep the household running when both jobs are "full-time"?

New parenthood and dementia caregiving are both demanding on their own. Experiencing them at the same time has required us to be intentional about how we divide responsibilities and keep our household running. Like most families, some days are easier than others.

5. A Typical Tuesday: Walk us through an ordinary day in your world. We hear Tuesdays are something else.

Our schedule is tight, and Tuesdays are appointment days for us. We try to stack as many appointments as possible onto a single day, so we all pile into the car and head out. We'll usually take my parents out to lunch between appointments because they love eating out. If there's a longer appointment, one of us will attend while the other takes our son to the park, runs errands nearby, or simply reads in the car while our son and Papa Gio nap. Sometimes appointments overlap and we divide up. All of their doctors know and expect that we'll likely have our son with us, and they've been incredibly accommodating.

Between our son and Kait's parents, we coordinate care with 19 different medical and therapy professionals. That doesn't even include our own personal doctors. Some we see weekly, some quarterly, and some only once or twice a year. I think the most appointments we've had on a single Tuesday was six, but it's usually closer to three or four.

"Between our son and Kait's parents, we coordinate care with 19 different medical and therapy professionals. That doesn't even include our own personal doctors."

— Kait & Tamrin

6. The Guilt That Visits: With a toddler and two parents needing you, someone is always getting less of you than you'd like. How do you handle the guilt?

Yes, guilt shows up. And I try to stay curious about it. There are days when my parents have spent most of the day sitting on the deck listening to music, and we've barely had time to sit and visit with them. There are other days when our son has spent more time in the car than we'd like because we're moving between appointments. When that feeling comes up, I try to recognize that it's my feeling, not necessarily theirs. Then I ask myself whether there's something I can do about it. Maybe that means sitting down with my parents for a short chat, or pulling our son out of his car seat for five minutes to run around and explore. I don't think guilt is always something to ignore. Sometimes it's just information. The important thing is not letting it take over the story.

"I don't think guilt is always something to ignore. Sometimes it's just information. The important thing is not letting it take over the story."

7. What Grows in the Middle: Your son is being raised inside all of this — first words and forgotten words side by side. What do you hope he carries out of this home and into his life?

We hope our son learns that every person deserves dignity, patience, compassion, and respect. More than anything, we hope he grows up knowing that he is part of a community of people who love him. For him, that community starts at home, but we hope it continues to expand throughout his life.

We feel incredibly fortunate that he gets to spend so much time with his grandparents. He loves them, they love him, and some of the sweetest moments in our home happen between them. If there's one lesson we hope he carries forward, it's that people matter, relationships matter, and everyone deserves to feel like they belong.

"People matter, relationships matter, and everyone deserves to feel like they belong."

— Kait & Tamrin

8. Reinventing Work: Your careers look nothing like they did six years ago — and you say that's by design. How has caregiving reshaped the way your family thinks about work, money, and the future?

Our work situation is anything but conventional, and that's by design. We're about six years into this journey, and our careers have evolved alongside our family's needs. Kait is an independent hairdresser with an incredibly supportive client base, which allows her to set her own schedule and work three days a week traveling to clients. Before becoming a full-time caregiver, Tamrin worked in the film industry, where long hours and unpredictable schedules are the norm.

Around the time our son was born, the film industry in Atlanta came to a screeching halt, and Kait's father began needing a higher level of care. We made the decision that Tamrin would become the primary caregiver for Kait's parents while also being available for our son when Kait is working. Things fell into place very organically and have been that way ever since.

Financially, we've had to be creative. Multigenerational living allows us to share expenses and resources, and we also have rental income from our previous home. With the uncertainty in the film industry, Tamrin chose to use this season of full-time caregiving to go back to school remotely so he'll be prepared to enter a new career when our caregiving responsibilities eventually come to an end.

I think one of the biggest lessons we've learned is that caregiving doesn't just change your schedule — it can completely reshape how a family thinks about work, income, and the future. The life we live would not be possible working more traditional schedules and careers.

9. The Tools That Help: As a caregiving family, what products or everyday gadgets have actually made a difference under your roof?

A few things have made a huge difference for us. From a safety standpoint, cameras and door chimes provide a lot of peace of mind and help us keep track of what's happening throughout the house without needing to be in the same room all the time. Beyond that, we've become big fans of anything that provides warmth and comfort. Heated jackets, battery-powered hand warmers, heated toilet seats, and towel warmers have all been surprisingly helpful. As people age, staying comfortable can have a big impact on their mood and willingness to participate in daily activities.

The products that have helped us most aren't necessarily the most high-tech. They're often the ones that increase comfort, independence, and peace of mind for everyone involved.

"The products that have helped us most aren't necessarily the most high-tech. They're often the ones that increase comfort, independence, and peace of mind for everyone involved."

10. To the Family Just Starting Out: If a couple is standing where you stood six years ago — doing the math, wondering if it's even possible — what do you want them to hear?

The one thing we'd want them to hear is that a meaningful life doesn't have to look like the one you originally imagined. There were plenty of reasons we could have decided not to have children, not to live together, or not to take on the responsibilities we have today. We knew it would be hard. We just didn't think that was a reason not to do it.

One thing we've learned is not to view caregiving as putting your life on hold until some future date. This is our life. We still celebrate milestones, pursue education, make plans for the future, and find joy where we can. Every family has to make the decisions that are right for them, but we remember: we can do hard things. Some of the most meaningful parts of our lives have come from choices that looked impossible at first. Don't underestimate your ability to build a good life inside difficult circumstances.

A Final Word

Kait and Tamrin, on behalf of the entire EnhDme family: thank you. You have shown us that the "melty middle" isn't only the hardest place to stand — it can also be the most loving. Your son will grow up knowing that people matter, that everyone belongs, and that a family shows up for one another through every season of life.

To the millions of sandwich caregivers out there — holding the generation above and the generation below at the very same time — we see you. And to everyone else: remember that a meaningful life rarely looks like the one we first imagined. You can do hard things.

Follow Along

Find The Melty Middle

Kait and Tamrin share the real, tender, funny moments of multigenerational life — where first words and forgotten words collide. Follow The Melty Middle on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and Threads.

Carry It Forward

Support for Sandwich Caregivers & Dementia Families

If you're holding two generations at once, you don't have to do it without help. These organizations offer guidance, community, and a 24/7 ear.

Trusted Connections

Family Caregiver Resources

A curated directory of specialists who support caregivers, families, and the aging journey — people we trust, resources we believe in.

About the Author

Kevin Lambing, CDME is the CEO and founder of EnhDme, a retail DME and home-care hardware distributor based in Columbus, Mississippi, and a nationally recognized voice in family caregiving. He is the author of Swipe Right On Care and a two-time presenter of the National Caregiver of the Year Award at the Home Care Association of America.