We got the idea from TikTok. At the time we discovered it, we had been processing and coming to terms with my mother's Alzheimer's diagnosis. We truly believe in celebrating our loved ones while they are here and can appreciate it. My mother is a beloved matriarch in my family, so capturing a hug from her meant a lot to everyone who participated. She enjoyed it, and we all got to make a special memory with her that we will cherish.

I believe I was in the caregiver role long before I accepted the fact that I was actually a caregiver. For so long, I just felt that I was being a good daughter — helping my parents handle errands, or making a phone call — then it started being accompanying them to appointments. As we started seeing how much of our help they needed, I think that is when the realization that we had stepped into the caregiving role really set in.

The role reversal has definitely hit me emotionally. I am my parents' youngest child, and I think that also impacts how I have processed the fact that the roles have reversed. I am grateful that I have my two older sisters, Shellie and Shretha, to lean on during this journey. We talk and process our feelings about things often. We have to encourage one another when we are having a hard time processing that we have had to make a hard decision for our parents, or when we feel uncomfortable being in the role of the parent to our parents. That's a difficult position to be in. But we support one another and help one another continue to be good daughters while also caring for our parents.

It is really difficult to find balance in all of these roles. I am determined not to lose myself in any of them. It is difficult to show up for my daughter, my parents, or in my career if I am not a fully functioning and whole individual. In order to do that, I have to prioritize myself sometimes and remember that I have goals and dreams in addition to my role as a mother, a daughter, a professional, and a caregiver.

One of the hardest parts of the caregiving journey has been accepting that family does not always show up the way that you expect them to show up. I, along with my two older sisters, share in the caring responsibilities for my parents. But my parents have four adult children. One sibling does not show up in the ways that my sisters and I show up for my parents. That has been a difficult reality to accept.

Of course there are moments when I feel overwhelmed or isolated on this caregiving journey. When one of my parents has a medical emergency or scare, those moments can definitely feel overwhelming. I am so very grateful to have my sisters to lean on, and to also be able to support them in the same way. That is why I felt led to create the Dr. Ivy Cares community — because I know that feeling overwhelmed and alone on this journey is something that many others feel. I want to help other daughters turned caregivers feel less alone and more supported on their journey.

I've learned that accepting help is not a sign that I'm incapable — it's an acknowledgment that caregiving was never meant to be done alone. Setting boundaries has taught me that I can love and care for my parents without sacrificing every part of myself. Not everyone will understand those boundaries, but the people who aren't carrying the responsibility don't get to dictate how I manage it.

Caregiver guilt still shows up, but I no longer treat it as proof that I'm doing something wrong. I remind myself that I'm doing the best I can with the time, energy, and resources I have. Resting, asking for support, and choosing myself sometimes do not make me selfish; they help me continue caring without completely losing who I am.

I would tell caregivers not to wait for the perfect day or a special occasion to create joyful moments. Caregiving can become so focused on appointments, medications, responsibilities, and what has changed that we forget to simply enjoy the person who is still here.

Joy does not have to be elaborate. It can be sharing a favorite meal, playing music they love, looking through old photographs, laughing together, or sitting outside and enjoying the day. Be intentional about making memories, taking pictures, and celebrating the version of your loved one who is present now.

There may come a time when you wish you could have one more ordinary moment together. So when the opportunity for joy presents itself, take it. The responsibilities will still be there, but that moment may become a memory you treasure forever.

When I decided to start creating content about my caregiving journey, the response was overwhelming. Women began sharing their own experiences, asking questions, and expressing how seen and understood they felt. That engagement helped me realize that what I was walking through could become a source of support, encouragement, and connection for other caregivers.

Through The Caregiver Village, I hope women find the reassurance that they are not alone and do not have to figure everything out by themselves. I want them to feel seen, supported, and empowered, with practical resources to help them care for their loved ones, and a safe community that reminds them to care for themselves, too. Most of all, I want every woman to know that she matters beyond her role as a caregiver.

I would first tell her to take a breath. She does not have to understand everything, solve every problem, or prepare for every possibility on the first day. Caregiving can feel urgent from the beginning, but not everything has to be handled at once. I would encourage her to focus on three things: caring for her heart, caring for her loved one, and preparing for what may be ahead.

I would also tell her to start organizing important information early. She should have an updated medication list, medical history, contact information for doctors and family members, insurance information, appointment notes, and a list of questions or concerns. I would encourage the family to begin discussing advance directives and the appropriate powers of attorney with qualified professionals while their loved one can still communicate their wishes and participate in those decisions.

Just as importantly, I would tell her to identify her support system and ask for specific help before she reaches complete exhaustion. She needs a place to process her emotions, whether that is a journal, a therapist, a support group, or a community of caregivers who understand the journey.

The most important resource she can have from the beginning is a roadmap, and the understanding that caring for herself is part of caring for her loved one.