Traci West: Caring for a Mom With Dementia
Traci WestMissing Her While She's Right Here
Traci West and her husband had spent years on the open road as full-time RVers. Then her mother, Marcia, was diagnosed with mixed dementia, and within weeks the West family had bought a house, sold Marcia's home, and restructured their entire lives around a new chapter. Traci shares that chapter openly as @caregivingfamily — the grief, the patience, the practical fixes, and the grace — because she believes no one should have to figure this out alone.
For two years, Traci West saw the signs before anyone else wanted to. She pointed them out, advocated, and kept watching — until a hospital stay in June 2025 confirmed what she had feared, and a neurologist finally gave the family a name for it.
What followed was a whole-family decision: Marcia would come home to live with them. Today, Traci's house is full — a husband of more than 30 years, their adult daughter, three dogs, a cat, and her 83-year-old mother — and at the center of it all is a daughter learning, one day at a time, that showing up is the love.
Traci with her mother
When did you first realize your loved one needed extra care, and how did that realization come about?
I had been noticing trouble signs with my mom for about two years before everything came to a head. I kept advocating for her, pointing things out to family, trying to get people to see what I was seeing. In June 2025, she ended up in the hospital, and while she was there I went to her home and found things that confirmed my concerns.
After she was discharged, a speech therapist did a cognitive evaluation, and we got a referral to a neurologist who gave us the diagnosis. After that, our family made the decision together that she needed to be with us full time. We sold her home, and she moved in.
How did your daily life change when you took on the caregiving role?
My husband and I had been full-time RVers for several years. We gave that up to do this. We bought a house on July 31st and moved in on August 12th. I also gave up my full-time job in 2026 to be present for her care. Our whole life restructured around this new chapter.
What has been the most unexpected challenge you've faced as a caregiver?
I can't take trips the way I used to. The spontaneity is gone. But the most unexpected thing — and this one is harder to talk about — is that I have grieved who my mom was before all of this. I miss her all the time, even though she's right here. That kind of grief doesn't get talked about enough.
"I miss her all the time, even though she's right here."
Traci WestHow do you maintain a sense of identity and personal well-being while caregiving?
Honestly? I don't know how to do that fully. Who she was is just in memories now. We remember. She doesn't. I'm still figuring out how to hold onto myself in the middle of all of this.
Can you describe a moment when caregiving felt particularly overwhelming, and how did you navigate through it?
It makes me cry if I think about it too long. The grief shows up unexpectedly — sometimes I just have to go to the bathroom alone to pull myself together.
The hardest part is that for most of my life, she would have been the person I went to when my burden felt too heavy. She would have been the one I asked for wisdom. That person isn't available to me anymore, and I feel that loss in the middle of the hardest moments.
dementia caregivers are daughters caring for a parent — many of them, like Traci, grieving the parent they knew while caring for the parent in front of them.
What does a typical day look like for you as a caregiver?
It's a series of small moments. My mom was such a force — capable, wise, independent. Now she's more like a child in many ways, and I am her person. I make sure she's safe, comfortable, oriented, and loved.
Some days are harder than others. But I show up, and I've learned that showing up is the love.
"I show up, and I've learned that showing up is the love."
Traci WestHow do you manage the emotional and physical demands of caregiving?
Faith keeps me grounded. My community — both in person and online — carries me when I can't carry myself. But I won't pretend it's easy. Patience is hard. It is tested all the time. I'm not always at my best, and that's part of the honest story of caregiving.
of dementia caregivers report high to very high emotional stress — which is why the honest stories, and the communities that hold them, matter so much.
A full house — and a family that decided together
How has caregiving affected your relationships with other family members or friends?
It has shown me who my community really is. The caregiving community I've found online has been one of the most meaningful gifts of this season — people who understand the guilt of having hard days, the complexity of loving someone through loss of self. That community has held me in ways I didn't expect.
What support systems have been most valuable to you during this journey?
My faith, my husband, and our daughter — she moved in with us specifically to help care for her grandmother, and I can't overstate how much that means to me.
Beyond our family, the online caregiving community has been a lifeline. I built @caregivingfamily because I needed to find my people, and I did.
Are there any tools, resources, or strategies that have made caregiving more manageable for you?
Yes — practical things have made a real difference.
- In the bathroom: a shower chair, grab bars, and handrails on her toilet.
- For medications: a pill organizer with a timer.
- For peace of mind: indoor cameras and door sensors, so we always know she's safe.
- For memory support: MemoryBoard, fridge calendars (both monthly and weekly), and motion-activated nightlights in her room and the hallway.
Every home will look different, but don't be afraid to adapt your space. Safety and dignity can coexist.
"Safety and dignity can coexist."
Traci WestWhat advice would you give to someone just beginning their caregiving journey?
You are not going to do this perfectly, and that's okay. Information and resources are going to be harder to find than you expect — hold on. You will figure it out, one day at a time.
Give yourself grace. Ask for help. And find your community as soon as you can.
Traci West is a content creator, podcast producer, and operations director based in Nashville, Tennessee. At 54, she wears many hats — and wears them well.
She and her husband of more than 30 years share their home with their adult daughter, three dogs, one cat, and her 83-year-old mother, Marcia, who lives with them full time following a diagnosis of mixed dementia (Alzheimer's and vascular). Their son lives nearby. Traci documents her caregiving journey with honesty, humor, and heart as @caregivingfamily on Instagram and Facebook — because she believes no one should have to figure this out alone.
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