Life with Grams: The Story of Kris & Mary

A granddaughter’s love, a grandmother’s spirit, and the beautiful, messy, heartfelt reality of family caregiving.

By Kevin Lambing, CDME  |  EnhDme Caregiver Community

“When I say my grandma saved my life, I mean that in every aspect of the phrase. She didn’t just celebrate my wins, she helped me through my darkest days. I wouldn’t be here without her.”

— Kris, caregiver & granddaughter

If you haven’t found the Life with Grams page yet, stop what you’re doing and go look it up. Nearly a million people already have, and once you spend five minutes watching Kris and her grandmother Mary together, you’ll understand exactly why.

Every single day, Kris goes live. Not to perform. Not for the numbers. She goes live because she believes that the world deserves to see what real love looks like — the kind that shows up on the hard days, the confusing days, the laugh-until-you-cry days. The kind that says: I see you. I’ve got you. We’re doing this together.

Mary is her grandmother. She is an Italian-American force of nature who has lived through a stroke, an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, and every stage of cognitive decline you can imagine — and she is still, somehow, the funniest person in any room she walks into. And Kris? Kris is the granddaughter who, at 29 years old, walked into a nursing facility, looked at the woman who saved her life, and said: You’re coming home with me.

At EnhDme, we talk a lot about equipping family caregivers. But Kris and Mary’s story reminds us that the most powerful caregiving tool isn’t a product — it’s a relationship built over a lifetime. This month, we are honored to shine our Heart of the Home spotlight on two women who are showing the world what generational love really looks like.

Kris didn’t become Mary’s caregiver by accident. This was a relationship decades in the making — a grandmother who was always, without question, there. Kris lived with Mary as a teenager. She struggled with mental illness as a young woman, and in those darkest moments, it was Mary who held her steady.

So when one night, after visiting her grandmother in a nursing facility, a friend said the words that would change everything — “What if you moved Grandma into your spare bedroom?” — Kris didn’t hesitate for long.

“I had no idea what being a caregiver was going to entail. I just saw my grandma was in a time of need and I wanted to give back to her what she always gave to me growing up.”

— Kris

She called her mom. She called her sister. She got a “yes.” And a few days later, Mary was home.

That is how love moves. Not slowly, not carefully — with its whole chest.

For many families, the signs of Alzheimer’s arrive quietly — easy to explain away, easy to miss. For Kris and her family, early recognition was a gift. Mary had her first stroke on Thanksgiving Day in 2007 while driving to Kris’s sister’s house. An exceptional neurologist caught early signs of dementia in the brain imaging. The family knew Alzheimer’s could come; Mary’s own mother had it.

But here’s the thing about Mary — she was always a little eccentric. Always doing something that made the family say, “That’s just Mary.” It wasn’t until around 2012 that the shift became undeniable.

“Her cooking was really the first thing we noticed — everything started to taste off, and this was an Italian American woman who was cooking the best breakfast, lunch & dinner daily for everyone she could for decades.”

— Kris

If you are watching a loved one and something feels off — even if you can’t name it yet — trust that feeling. Push for the evaluation. An early diagnosis isn’t a sentence. It’s information. It’s time. It’s the chance to do exactly what Kris did: show up before the moment becomes a crisis.

Anyone who has watched even a single Life with Grams live stream knows: these two women are hilarious. And it isn’t performed. It isn’t forced. It is the natural language of a family that learned long ago that joy is a choice — and laughter is how you make that choice out loud.

Mary was, by her own declaration, a “pisser” — always working the room, always trying to make everyone around her laugh. She passed that philosophy on to her granddaughter. And Kris has carried it through every hard day of this journey.

“She taught me that life is hard & so much is out of our control — but even through the hardship it’s up to us to create joy. That has been my lifeline through this journey. Everything feels better when we’re laughing & having a good time. Even if sometimes we laugh just to keep from crying!”

— Kris

Kris doesn’t just speak honestly about caring for Mary. She speaks honestly about what caregiving almost cost her. For years she worked two jobs while providing full-time care. She was severely burned out. The relief she sought wasn’t serving her. And in January of 2021, she made one of the hardest and bravest decisions of her life.

She checked herself into a mental health facility.

She talks about it openly because she knows that somewhere out there, a caregiver reading this right now is running on empty and telling themselves it’s fine. That it’s not that bad. That they can keep going.

“Self care isn’t time away — it’s daily practices that can bring you joy & fulfillment.”

— Kris

You cannot pour from an empty vessel. This isn’t a cliché — it is a clinical reality. Of the more than 12 million unpaid family caregivers in America, studies consistently show that caregiver burnout, depression, and physical health decline are among the most overlooked crises in elder care. Kris lived it. She survived it. And now she talks about it so that others don’t have to hit that same wall before they ask for help.

When we asked Kris what she wished someone had told her before this journey began, her answer was immediate and clear: build your team.

“If someone in your family isn’t hands-on, delegate a task that they’re good at. My mom was great at organization so she became the one who took care of all the appointments & all the paperwork. My sister was a busy working mom, but she would drop off dinners and groceries or help with the laundry. Any help is worth it! You can’t always expect others to know what to do so get comfortable asking for what you need.”

— Kris

Everyone has something to give. It doesn’t have to be hands-on care. A meal. A load of laundry. Two hours on a Saturday afternoon. When you give the people who love you something specific to do, you give them a way in. And you give yourself room to breathe.

Alzheimer’s takes things. It takes memories. It takes abilities. It takes the version of your person that you knew so well. Any family living this truth knows that grief, and it is real, and it is okay to name it.

But Kris will tell you — and she will tell you with certainty — that not everything goes.

“My grandma still kisses my cheek like she did when I was a young girl. She hugs me with all her might — and it’s just a beautiful exchange of love between us. These moments have never gone away because I’ve done what I could to preserve them — not with logic & memories — but with pure energy.”

— Kris

One of the most striking things Kris says — and she says it with conviction — is how little information and support families actually receive at the time of an Alzheimer’s or dementia diagnosis. So many are told “that’s dementia” and sent home, as if there is nothing more to be said or done.

That’s why pages like Life with Grams matter so much. Not because Kris and Mary have a perfect system. But because they are living it, out loud, every single day. And in doing so, they have become a lifeline for caregivers across the country who finally feel seen.

“The lack of understanding & support that is out there — I am so grateful to be a gateway to resources, understanding & community for those in need. I know she is proud that her spirit, our bond & my knowledge has gotten us to help so many others.”

— Kris

If you are a new caregiver — if you just got the diagnosis, or you just brought your loved one home, or you’re somewhere in the middle of this long and winding road — find Kris. Watch a few lives. Let yourself feel the laughter and the love and the realness of it all. You are not alone on this journey. There is a whole community out here walking it with you.

And from everyone at EnhDme — to Kris and to Mary — thank you for showing us what it looks like when love refuses to quit.

Heart of the Home — EnhDme Caregiver Community Series

Honoring the family caregivers who give everything, every day.